I need to be better for them.

I’m sitting here watching my cursor blink at me, trying to think of the words I want to say here. Oddly enough, the first thing that is flowing through my brain are lyrics to Michael Jackson’s “Man In The Mirror”… “I’m Starting With The Man In The Mirror. I’m Asking Him To Change His Ways”. That lyric is sticking with me right now. But, why, you ask, is that what I’m thinking about? Good question.

The longer that I’ve been a dad, the more and more I have come to see my faults. My faults as a dad, my faults as a husband, and my faults as a man. I’ve gotta be honest, realizing your own faults and your own limitations, and seeing your shortcomings isn’t all that pleasant. I’ll be honest, it’s a kick to the crotch.When I say I’ve realized my own faults and shortcomings, I’m not saying that I’ve corrected them. Far from it, in fact. There are so many facets in my life that I need to be better in, whether it’s in how I react to certain situations, to how I speak to Sarah, to work ethic, to how I handle money, and how I handle stress, and having more patience. I have to be better in all of those areas. Not for myself. I need to be better in all those areas for Sophia and Maddie, and for Sarah, too. When my girls grow up, I want them to look at their dad and be proud that I raised them. I want them to know that I did everything I could for them, that I had their backs no matter what, and that I will go to the ends of the earth for them.

I don’t want them to look at me with disdain, a lack of respect, or anything like that and think to themselves “My dad is the worst and we deserved so much better from him.” I don’t EVER want to be that guy.

If I want to be the dad that I know that my girls–and any future children (if that happens)–I need to take a long look in the mirror and start to correct my failures. I don’t want to be a better dad or a better man or a better husband, I NEED to be all of those things. For my kids. If I didn’t have kids, maybe I wouldn’t have realized all these things. Maybe I would go on living my life just as I was before. Who knows. What I know now is that I need to change and change quickly.

What about you, moms and dads? Have you seen your own faults, limitations, and shortcomings? If so, what are you doing to change them? I’d love to hear your thoughts.