Oh You’re Single Without Kids? Tell Me About How Tired You Are

As a parent, I have developed many pet-peeves in the last three-plus years. People cursing around my kids, unsolicited parenting advice, and most recently: people with no kids complaining to me about just how tired they are…

I get it, you lead a busy life, you have an active social life. That’s cool. I used to do the same thing as you. Random nights during the week, I would be out at the bars with friends. Or going out to dinner and staying out late. Staying up until 4 am just because I didn’t feel like going to sleep. I made my own sleep schedule and if I was tired, it was typically my own fault. Now? If I get no sleep, which I never do, it isn’t caused by my body not wanting to sleep, or me staying up for no reason. The reason is because I have kids that like to wake up randomly throughout the night, wake up early every morning, sleep in my bed, and a myriad other reasons.
sleepyI’m not saying that you don’t have valid reasons for being tired. Lots of people who don’t have kids, or small kids more specifically, have good reasons for being tired. They could be job-related. Perhaps you’ve worked double or triple-shifts for a week and haven’t slept more than a few hours, or you work in a child-care field, maybe you’re a police officer or a firefighter, or anything along those lines. In those cases, please feel free to tell me how tired you are. I don’t mind, one bit.

willy wonka

It’s the mindless folks who are so self-absorbed that they don’t realize what is pouring out of their mouths. It reminds me of an old Dana Carvey bit where he talks about being a new parent and is on the phone with a friend with no kids on a Saturday: “Oh my God! I slept till noon and I’m STILL TIRED! I think I’ll go to Starbucks and get a frappuccino!” Meanwhile, you haven’t slept for a week, you haven’t showered in days, and you have a big ol’ pimple right in the middle of your forehead.

I mean, seriously, folks, do I look like I have gotten any sleep in the past three-and-a-half years? Obviously not. It was worse during the newborn stages, of course, but it seems to be a never-ending cycle of not getting to sleep. I’m sitting here writing this after a night of being awoken four times in the middle of the night by a sick baby who would only sleep after a trip in the car–four trips in the car in the middle of the night.

Before you give me the “well, you made the choice to have kids” reason on why I have no room to complain, I know. I had kids on purpose. We made the decision–on purpose–to have kids. I signed up for it. If that’s your argument for why you can complain to me, or other parents, about how tired you are, the door is right there–feel free to see your way out.

Before you make the decision to complain about how tired you are, and it was your own choice out of free will to not sleep, take into account who your audience is, and then keep it to yourself. Or wait until my kids move out and I’ve gotten some sleep for a change. Then, we can talk.

11 thoughts on “Oh You’re Single Without Kids? Tell Me About How Tired You Are

  1. Ashley says:

    It’s the mindless folks who are so self-absorbed that they don’t realize what is pouring out of their mouths. It reminds me of an old Dana Carvey bit where he talks about being a new parent and is on the phone with a friend with no kids on a Saturday.

    How ironic to find this statement in a post that is completely, entirely, self-absorbed.

    What about people taking care of their elderly relatives? Or volunteers helping in crisis who go days without sleep to help? Think 9/11.

    Get over yourself. If you haven’t realized it yet – having children was ALSO a choice, ya know, just like other people can be tired for THEIR choices.


    • Did you see the part in the post where I said that there are many people who I don’t have a problem with talking about being tired? While I may not have mentioned them specifically, those that you listed are included.

      Did you also read where I said I KNOW that having children was my choice and I’m okay with that? I made the choice to be tired.


    • Leslie says:

      Ashley, how ironic is it that you are commenting that he is “self-absorbed” when he was discussing his lack of sleep from taking care of his CHILDREN (I loved your caps so much that I felt the need to use them as well)? If he was self-absorbed, he’d be getting nine hours of sleep a night and those kiddos wouldn’t have been cared for. Last I checked though, this is a blog about him and his experiences with parenting…so yes it will be about him and yes it will be about life as a parent. If you’d like to read about people taking care of their elderly relatives or volunteers in a crisis, you have come to the wrong page. Please get over YOURSELF.

      Love the post Nick and I agree! Don’t complain to a parent about being tired. They don’t care and have no sympathy for you. End of story.


  2. Danny says:

    Here’s a thought…yes it is a choice but the reason parents are tired is becuase they are doing the right thing. There are so many lackadaisical parents who “choose” not to take care of their kids and instead become self-absorbed. They are tired of having kids because it is a burden. Great parents are tired because they want to make the world a better place by raising responsible and decent people. That’s a good reason to be tired if you ask me.


  3. JMP says:

    There are no medals for choosing or not choosing to procreate. You are adults. You all should be able to empathize with someone who feels exhaustion (could we say – any sentiment?) whether they have or haven’t had kids. Children or no children does not invalidate your right to declare a feeling. So, listen to people who are sharing with you, even when you are a parent. Listen to parents when they are sharing with you, even though you may not have offspring of your own. Grow up. Relax. Everyone grab hands and help each other off those high horses because you all look ridiculous.


    • If you met me, you’d know I have no problem looking ridiculous. And I have no idea how to ride a horse either… Truthfully, this was geared towards those who stay out all hours getting hammered or whatever and then complain to those with small kids who clearly haven’t slept in weeks. I know it comes across dickish. And, I said I know full-well having kids–and all that comes with them–was a choice for me. No one wants to hear anyone complain about being tired, at all.


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