Uncomfortable Positions In Parenting

You want me to be real? As a parent, you find yourself in the most uncomfortable positions known to man. Seriously, man, I’m not kidding. From the moment you bring your screaming bundle of joy home from the hospital for the first time, you need to condition your body to get into some insane positions–all for the comforting of your little ones. Contorting my body is a daily occurrence ’round these parts. It honestly doesn’t matter what it is that I’m doing, my body is going to have contort in ways that I didn’t know were possible.


Recently, with Maddie battling an ear infection, coupled with pink eye, aka THE AWFULNESS, she has been quite miserable at bed time. We could rock her to sleep, but once we made the move to lay her down in the crib, the screams began. They wouldn’t end. So, I had to make a decision and that decision was to climb into the crib. Yes, I’m aware that I’m an adult. Some would argue that I may not be a full-grown adult… 5’7″ is grown enough!

Climbing in the crib and having Maddie lay on my shoulder worked to get her to sleep. As you can see in that picture, it wasn’t the most comfortable fit for me. I’ve been in the crib four or five times since then. Sometimes you have to sacrifice your own comfort for the sake of your kid’s comfort. I’ve come to realize that all too well.

OK, so that’s one uncomfortable position, you said positions, sir! You’re right, I did. Let’s see. How about sleeping hanging halfway off your bed when your kids climb in your bed in the middle of the night? Or twisting yourself into a pretzel to lay with them in a toddler bed? These all seem to be bed-related… There are others, I promise. Anytime your kids want you to use you as a jungle gym? Yeah that one is a definite.

I love letting them climb all over me. Really, I do. When they come running up behind me and almost snap my neck off? That’s the best! Have you ever tried to squeeze into the middle of the backseat of your car between two car seats? Nothing is more comfortable than that!

Trying to reach into a bag or to the floor behind the seat in the car, while facing forwards is always a fun one too. I honestly had no idea that my body could contort in the ways in which it seems to do now. No wonder it seems like my body is in pain in places I didn’t know existed.

One of these things just doesn't belong.

One of these things just doesn’t belong (GettyImages).

Have you ever sat down on a chair meant for a tiny toddler butt? They aren’t built for us why do you make us sit on them?!?! Drop by daycare for a family event, you get to sit in those chairs. Conference with a teacher in elementary school? Sit at those tiny desks. Need to use the bathroom at a daycare or elementary school? Have you ever knelt to pee? Because, as a man, you may need to learn how. The tiniest urinals and toilets known to man.

We haven’t even gotten into the positions you find yourself in after your kids are no longer small. Granted, I haven’t experienced them yet, but it’s only a matter of time.

We make sacrifices as parents and clearly our comfort is one of the biggest sacrifices we make, along with money, room, and sanity. But, they’re totally worth it, right you guys? I said right? Right.

What uncomfortable positions have you found yourself in as a parent? Share them in the comments, on my Facebook page, or on Twitter!

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