The Dad-Bashing Needs to Stop

One example of dad-bashing from Mom.me

One example of dad-bashing from Mom.me

Typically, I like to keep things fun, lighthearted, and all about the silly little things that happen daily in my life as a parent. But, sometimes, a stand needs to be taken. Sometimes, I need to fire back when I see something, or somethings, that are wrong. Dead wrong. This is one of those times. What am I talking about? Dad Bashing.

That first image that you see there is a screenshot from the Facebook page of Mom.me. I first learned about that photo when a fellow dad blogger brought it to the attention of the dad blogging Facebook group I’m a member of. What happened next was awesome. Many of the dads took to that photo and lambasted mom.me for posting something that calls out dads as being, in a word, inadequate. Unprepared, lazy, inattentive, and not on the same plane when it comes to parenting as mothers.

One of the ways society should view dads.

One of the ways society should view dads.

Now, I don’t know about you, but I, for one, am not an inadequate father. I’m here for my daughters and I’m always going to be here for my children. It’s not just about saying I’m going to be here. It’s about actions. It’s about showing people that, you, as a father, are an active participant in the lives of your kids.

I’m not just talking for the sake of talking. I’ve walked the walk. I WALK the walk. For those that don’t remember, I was a stay-at-home dad with Sophia for the first six months of her life. I had no plans to go back to work, either. I just happened to get an offer I needed to accept.

The fact that there is this view in society that dads aren’t up to snuff is a problem. It’s not even that we, as dads, find it offensive. It’s that it’s just flat-out wrong. In most cases, dads are heavily involved in raising their children, in carrying the load, and are on an equal plane as moms. We do it together. We are equal partners. It’s as simple as that.

Then there is this story from CBS.com, “When a Kid Gets Fat, is Dad to Blame?”, based on a study done by Texas AgriLife Research. What’s it say? Below are a few excerpts.

A study by Texas AgriLife Research showed that kids eat more fast food with their dads, and unhealthy meal choices contribute to childhood obesity.

“Dads who have no trouble eating food in a fast food restaurant are going to be more likely to have kids who do so,” Dr. Alex McIntosh, sociologist at AgriLife Research, said in a written statement.

McIntosh says fathers need to learn more about fast food’s nutritional content, and take responsibility for their kids nutrition. He says dads tend to let their kids choose where they want to eat more than moms.

“So basically all you really need is a dad who says, ‘no, I think we ought to eat someplace else and this is why,'” McIntosh said. “It’s about a father taking more of a responsible role when he’s parenting.”

Seriously? “Studies” like these are a part of the problem. They continue to set up dads as having no clue. Enough already! What, we don’t know what is and isn’t good for our children to eat? We are just pushovers when our kids want to eat something that isn’t in their best interests? Are we all just Homer Simpson or Peter Griffin? Hell no!

Another example of how society should view dads

Another example of how society should view dads

Are there bad dads? Absolutely. Are most dads doing the right things and being an active participant in the upbringing of their kids? You bet your ass they are. Take a look around and you will a majority of dads kicking serious butt in their roles as fathers. Let’s stop the dad-bashing, let’s stop making dads out to be the one’s who have no clue, and let’s give them their due. We are positive male influences in the lives of our kids.

If you want to see an ad that shows the type of relationships that many, many, many dads have with their kids, take a look at this awesome Lego commercial. THAT is how dads should be portrayed.

Along the same lines, Huggies was bashed earlier this year for their commercials from their “Dad Test” commercials. So, they went back and changed their ads. See the story about the revamped ad at DaddyDoctrines.com.

Are you tired or dad-bashing? Stand up, have a voice, get the word out that you, your husband, your father are doing things the right way. Things won’t change until more people start seeing and hearing the stories of amazing dads.

What are your thoughts? Share them here, on my Facebook page, or on Twitter.

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9 thoughts on “The Dad-Bashing Needs to Stop

  1. I love this Nick. I think the ads need to stop, and any other media that encourages or laughs at the inadequate father. There’s no need to perpetuate a silly stereotype when we can instead shine light on the many fathers who do so much.

    Unfortunately, I read somewhere (of course now I can’t cite it, ugh), that most fathers actually DON’T do their fair share. I believe it was some 37% who do equal to more work than the mother. I think you and I are surrounded by amazing men who do so much, but from what I remember, you are actually in the minority 😦

    That’s why it’s still so much more prevalent to praise the men who do so much, and to EXPECT them to do as much work as moms. How would fathers feel if we are constantly lambasting them for being clueless? Treating them like babysitters instead of co-parents? I’ve written a few posts on this, and ways that dads can—need—to be more involved, from doing their share with nighttime feedings to moms not being “gatekeepers” and letting dads rise up to their role.

    Excellent and important topic.

    Like

    • Thanks, Nina. It’s just a rather infuriating thing to see. I’ve seen even more examples since I wrote the post and it drives me nuts. I know there are plenty of dads who don’t carry their weight, and frankly, they need to get it together. Parenting is teamwork, plain and simple.

      I’ve read the posts that you’ve written about the topic and they have been great. I love that I’m a part of a great dad blogging community that is working to rise up and shake the notion that dads can’t hack it.

      Like

  2. Paul says:

    You should see the rancor on my facebook page after I shared and agreed with what you had to say. This is a deeply rooted belief in some people, and I am shocked it still exists. Keep up the good work. -Fellow new dad of a 5 mo old.

    Like

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