Disclosure: This post is in collaboration withDIYZ. All opinions of apps and companies that help me complete DIY projects are my own.
Sand. It’s the worst. When it comes to the things that my kids love to play with that I hate with the fire of a thousand suns, the list has three items: sand, glitter, and play-doh. But sand, man, it’s the worst. It was great when the girls would only want to play in it when we were at the beach. But, with the invention of things like kinetic sand, they wanna play with it ALL.THE.TIME.
It gets everywhere. Outside. Inside. Upside. Downside. In short, the sand goes everywhere. Could that be because we didn’t have a proper place for them to play–AND LEAVE–said sand? I say yes. I hope I’m right.
I don’t know about you guys, but a night out at a steakhouse is one of my favorite dining experiences. Walking into a nice restaurant, and instantly hearing the faint sizzle of a steak on a grill, smelling the succulent scents of meats, potatoes, and fresh veggies. It’s just an experience that I love, every single time. There’s one problem. It’s.So.Expensive. And I’m not made of money.
So, what do I do? It’s a conundrum, right? Wanting to have that same experience of dining out at a nice steakhouse, without shelling out an arm and a leg. It’s no secret that I’m a steak and potato guy. It is, without a doubt, my favorite all-time meal. When Sarah and I want a treat, we grill steak and bake, mash, saute, etc potatoes. But, we’re also pretty partial to a great bowl of potato soup. Seriously, have you ever had really good potato soup? It’s awesome! Continue reading →
I do this thing. Outwardly, I’m fine. I’m the same fun-loving, laughing, everything-is-great Nick that most people know. They don’t know. And that’s fine. I don’t let them see what’s going on under the surface. Hiding from nearly everyone. They ask how I’m doing, I say I’m great.
What else am I supposed to say? That inside a part of me feels dead? That I feel like I’m failing in most areas of my life? That the stress and anxiety of providing for my family is tearing me apart? That I feel like I’m a fraud as both a husband and a father? That always worrying about other people’s problems has left me neglecting myself and my own needs? That my creativity has been sapped and my will to create is gone just like *that*? That I’m filled with anger and hurt from things I try to forget from years gone by? That trying to give the life that my wife deserves and my kids deserve feels impossible because I don’t have any love for myself?Continue reading →
Having two–or more–kids can be a whirlwind for some people. It is for us, it seems, more often than I’d care to admit. A lot changes when you go from one kid to multiple. You get so used to spending all your time with just one kid and they get used to spending time with you. Uninterrupted time where they are the sole focus. You’ll hear a lot of people tell you that you need to carve out time for that child once the second one comes. That they need your attention. Solo attention. But, that can easily be forgotten along the way. Continue reading →
Do you remember the moment? That seminal instant that you were told you were going to be a dad? Maybe you’re a to-be dad and just found out this week, this month, today. It’s a moment that is hard to forget. You know what other moment is impossible to forget? The birth of your child. That.changes.everything.
My life has never been the same since Sophia was born in February 2011. It changed even more once Maddie came along in August 2013. It’s hard to really wrap my head around just how much things have changed. I sit and I ponder what I did before we had the girls. What did I actually do with all that free time?
Me and Maddie in her early days.
Yes, that free time was great. I could do anything I wanted. And waste hours on end. Now? The vast majority of my time is dedicated to Sophia and Maddie. Whether it’s taking the four hours required to get them to actually eat a meal, telling them to stop fighting over a toy, or convincing them that bedtime is a time for sleep–without Mommy or Daddy, that’s where my time goes. Oh, I really only just mentioned the tough parts didn’t I? While those things really do take up A LOT of time, they’re really the little inconveniences that come along with being a parent.
There is so much awesome that comes with being a dad. A million reasons I can say #ThanksBaby to my little girls. From the moment they were both born, there have been millions of laughs, lots of kissing boo-boos, SO MANY diapers changed. Inside jokes, outside jokes, dad jokes (ALL THE DAD JOKES), tears, kisses, silly games, cuddles, and everything in between.
Sisters meet for the first time.
What I never expected when I became a dad was that it would be how I identify. That’s really hard for me to believe. My life is about being a dad. For better or worse. Through all my mistakes, hiccups, and failures, being a father is who I am.
I will never, and I mean NEVER, forget the day we brought the girls home. I was terrified. We got Sophia in the car and I thought to myself “What now?! I’m in no way qualified to do this! WHAT IF I BREAK HER?!” With Maddie, I felt a little more at-ease than that, but damned if I wasn’t scared I’d break her too. Well, 5 and almost 3 years, respectively each, I haven’t broken them (ok, there was that one time I knocked Maddie down the stairs by accident, LAY OFF ME!)
This video created by Pampers is definitely worth a watch, too. If you want to see the kind of bond and relationship that comes about between baby and father at birth, this will show you. I love it. A lot.
What I do know, more than any other thing, is that no matter what I’m going to be there for these kids. Through all the tampers, frustrations, fights, future “I HATE YOU DAD” taunts, the giggles, the laughs, the love, and the amazing, I’m going to be there. Every step of the way.
If it weren’t for these two beautiful daughters, I wouldn’t be sitting here writing this right now. I don’t even know what my identity would be. This is my chance to say #ThanksBaby to them both–for making me a father, for teaching me everything they teach me daily.
Yes, I got in the crib. OFTEN.
Just like I love thanking my daughters, I want to help spread that love to the masses. I’m doing that with Pampers–who honors dads for just being dads and thanks them for all the amazing things, big and small, they do to help little ones have a better, loving, more fulfilling life.
Please join us by tweeting why you are most thankful for baby with the hashtag #ThanksBaby.
Visit www.pampers.com to learn more about Pampers products, join the Pampers Rewards program, and find ideas and information to help your baby get the most out of love, sleep and play.
Disclosure: I have partnered with Life of Dad and Pampers for this promotion.
Listen, no one ever said that parenting was all wins. If you’re a parent and you’ve experienced nothing but wins thus far in your parenting “career”, well I’d like to meet you. And push you down the stairs because you’re a liar. Every day, something is going to make you feel like you’re failing as a parent. Oftentimes, it’s more than once a day.
There are also those “oh shit, what the hell did I just do” moments. ParentFails. I had a nice little DadFail a few weeks ago. It’s still fresh in my mind. What was it? Well, if you haven’t read the title of this post yet, let me fill you in… I accidentally knocked Maddie down an entire flight of hardwood stairs. Continue reading →
Have you ever had to run from someone throwing things at you? Say, it was a relationship gone sour and your ex wants nothing more but to fling objects in your direction–you run, you dodge, you duck to avoid taking a plate, or a vase, or maybe a football, to the head. Now, imagine that was happening while you were driving. But the objects were flying FROM THE BACK SEAT. Only it isn’t a jaded ex-flame flinging things at you. It’s a raving-mad, inconsolable 5-year old who hasn’t gotten their way. Continue reading →
We’ve all been there. Hanging out with a sibling, or a friend, or that random dude at the bus stop that won’t stop talking to you because reasons–and they start with “hey, do you, uh, wanna play repeat??” And you reply, nicely “no, I’m good. I hate that game.” So, you think that’s the end of it, right? Big old bag of NOPE. “No, I’m good. I hate that game.”
You try to back your way out of the game that you very clearly do NOT want to be playing. “Seriously, can we not do this right now?” And because they’re your friend or brother or sister or stranger-du-jour they ignore you “seriously, can we not do this right now?” And on and on and on it goes for a solid 20 minutes. It ends when you either walk away or push them in front of a bus. Whichever is easier.
Why am I talking about one of the most annoying games ever? Well, considering that Sarah and I are currently living through a never-ending game of repeat, it seemed pretty apt. No, Sophia isn’t repeating everything we say. Why would you ask that… No, what is actually happening is that Maddie is learning everything she possibly can from Sophia. And repeating it. Or copying it. Like, every.little.thing. Good, bad, other, if big sister is doing it, you can bet your ass that little sister is following suit.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s great for some things. Like, brushing her teeth. Or going on the swings. Or running around the yard. Or trying something new and different. It’s pretty awesome when she does that stuff. I love it. When she tries repeating words that she so obviously can’t say, it’s beyond adorable. I’m pretty sure Sophia loves it, too. Unless I’m reading things the wrong way when she says “Stop copying me, Maddie!” But, I’m pretty sure that means she’s enjoying it. Right? Right.
Then, there are the things that I wish she wouldn’t be copying. That high-pitched squeal when she’s upset at not getting her way? PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON’T DO IT AGAIN. Throwing herself on the floor for a tantrum, jumping on or off the bed, hitting me because I SO OBVIOUSLY did something wrong (sorrrrrrrrrrry that I said you can’t go sledding down the steps). Those are the times where maybe not repeating every.single.thing Sophia does would be cool. That’s not too much to ask, is it? Oh. Oh, it is? I wasn’t aware of that.
In all honesty, it’s pretty damn funny watching Maddie play repeat all the time. There have been plenty of laugh-out-loud moments and I’m sure those are going to continue. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go ask that guy over there if he wants to play repeat…
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There’s this notion. This little bit of language that people use when they see a dad out and about with their kids–alone. What is it? It’s the idea that because there is no mother present that the dad is babysitting. Have you run into this situation before?
You’re walking through the mall, or Target, or are at the park with your kids in tow. And a stranger stops you.
“Oh, your kids are so cute. How’s Daddy doing babysitting you?”
Or, you’re out in public and one or all of your kids are having a meltdown. Someone approaches.
“Don’t worry kids, mommy will be back soon.”
It has happened to me. Thankfully it hasn’t happened a ton. But it has happened enough that it pisses me off to no end. I’m sorry? Did you just ask me if I was babysitting MY OWN KIDS?! Walk away. Walk away now.
This isn’t something that was planning on writing about, to be honest. But it’s long been something that annoys the hell out of me. Yesterday I read a post on Scary Mommy that is asserting the same thing that I am–and it really got me thinking about the subject again. Admittedly, I don’t usually care for most of the content that Scary Mommy puts out. But this one? It hit the nail on the head and I was really glad they published it. Dads are not babysitters. We are parents.
Is there somebody else giving me money that I am not aware of to take care of my children? That’s a big bag of nope! If someone wants to give me money, though, that’s cool. I like money.
But Nick, you say, why is it so bad to ask a dad if they are babysitting? They don’t mean anything by it. No. Just no. It doesn’t matter if you aren’t trying to be insulting or aren’t trying to insinuate that I’m less of a parent than my wife. But guess what? That’s exactly what you’re doing. I bust my ass to be the best damn dad I can be to Sophia and Maddie. And I’m damn proud to be their dad. If you haven’t noticed by the things I’ve written or the insane amount of pictures, quotes, and videos that I share of them, being a dad is my life. So, if you want to devalue that by calling me a babysitter, we’re going to have a problem.
Look, I’m not saying that I’m going to explode in your face if you call me a babysitter. But you’ll get a death stare from me and probably a few words that you’ll wish I hadn’t said. Stop perpetuating the archaic stereotype that dads are the lesser of the parents. Guess what? Parenting is typically a team sport. And the team is usually 50/50. So, call me a dad, a father, ask me how my day of parenting my kids is going. Just don’t call me a babysitter. You’re better than that.
How do you know that you’re a good parent? Honestly. There is not test you can take to find out if you’re doing a good job or a really terrible job. I mean, you can look at your kids, see how they act, see what they’ve learned, and take stock in that.
There are plenty of times when I look at myself as a father and think that I don’t have a damn clue what I’m doing. I feel like I’m failing my girls and not making the right choices for them–or for our family. It’s an awful way to feel. It’s not something that I want to have floating around in my head.
Outside of reading as many books on parenting as possible, reading as many parenting sites and magazines, as possible, and talking to other parents, how are we to know what is right? What’s best, breast or bottle? How long do you wait to introduce solid foods? What if I have a picky eater? My kid is being mean, not listening, and is an all-around pain in the butt, how do we fix that? What daycare is right? Am I being a helicopter parent? All these are questions and comments that have come from me or others that I know. AND WE HAVEN’T EVEN GOTTEN TO KINDERGARTEN YET! Continue reading →
My Journey Through Fatherhood 