You want me to be real? As a parent, you find yourself in the most uncomfortable positions known to man. Seriously, man, I’m not kidding. From the moment you bring your screaming bundle of joy home from the hospital for the first time, you need to condition your body to get into some insane positions–all for the comforting of your little ones. Contorting my body is a daily occurrence ’round these parts. It honestly doesn’t matter what it is that I’m doing, my body is going to have contort in ways that I didn’t know were possible.